Back At It

It's been a while since my last post. 19 months, a while. 852,480 minutes. That's a lot of time. A lot of things have happened in that time. I have a new obsession in bowling, and I have unearthed an old one in Starbucks. Oh how grand they both are. But even in all the change, there has been one constant:

I am constantly reminded of God's love and grace.

Even on the worst of days, I find solace in the fact that He is watching over me. He is watching me as I grow into what I hope is a good and respectable man.

My whole life I have always had one major dream, and that's to be working in film - writing, editing, directing, etc. But the thing is, the older I get, that dream is still there, but an even bigger dream overshadows it - I want to honor Him and be someone who makes him proud.

I was always a dreamer. I think it's important to dream. It's the ambition and drive that makes you successful in what you do, but there is something more than that. It's God's will, grace and love that gives you the strength to do what it is you want to do.

Writing my thoughts and feelings about the subject is not enough, it is the practice of it, the bringing the words to action. Any one can sit idly by, but what change does that make? What difference does that make to the world? None.

It's wanting to be the best you can to make God proud that makes you successful. Some people lose sight of the important things. They think that money and possessions will make them happy. Maybe for a while - but without devoting yourself to Him, you are missing out on so much. His is the Ultimate love.

I am often reminded of an Eddie Vedder (from the fantastic band 'Pearl Jam') song that I'm afraid that people care too much about the little things, and not the big picture:

It's a mystery to me,
We have a greed, for which we have agreed.
You think you have to want more than you need,
Until you have it all, you won't be free.

Society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me

When you want more than you have, you think you need.
And when you think more than you want, your thoughts begin to bleed.
I think i need to find a bigger place
Cause when you have more than you think, you need more space.

We need a lot of things as human beings, but the biggest need is a life with God in the center.

Some of my best friends do not share my beliefs. They do not live the life that I want to live. I hope they are able to soak in God's love, and maybe see there is more to life than partying and drinking. We need to grow up. We all need to move on. But, no matter their choice, God will always love all of us. His love is never changing. He sent his Son to die for us, for all of us, to show us his love is Absolute and never changing.

This entry is full of a lot of feelings that I have been feeling for the last 19 months - the last 852,480+ minutes. There is so much more. Hopefully my next post will be much less jumbled and to the point. But I guess if I must summarize, it would be to sit and think about who you want to be. How do you want to spend your life? What have you been doing with your life? Do you live for Him, or do you live for you?

I live for Him and because of Him.