Sunday, April 8, 2012

The Long and Winding Road

The years have turned like the pages of a book. Made up of memories, scars and dreams. It feels like a lifetime, yet I've only just begun. The beginning of my story, the beginning of my life.

I've always been one to look up at the stars. I've never been afraid to dream. No dream is too big, nor to small. I've already reached a dream that no one thought I would reach. To me that is a victory. Write, Direct, Edit. Those were my dreams. I'm one step closer. Soon I won't be an outsider looking in. The 13 year-old me would be jumping for joy (literally). The 22 year-old me is doing that figuratively. Those artistic dreams are now only part of the story.

As you get older, life throws your curve-balls and hands you new meanings. A light bulb turns on. You change. Some people are afraid of change. I used to be. Now, I love it and embrace it. It's what makes life, life.

I look forward to so much more than movies. I don't want to do films for fame and fortune. I want to do it for a passion. I write as a passion, but the films aren't the only passion I have now. I can't wait to see who I'll spend my life with (I'll be the lucky one there). I can't wait for the day I become a father and get to watch my kids grow. I can't wait for the late nights and early mornings of childcare. The endless watching of baseball, or soccer games (if they choose to play). I can't wait for the whole package. Family is everything.

God has blessed me with a wonderful life filled with wonderful people. Wonderful dreams, memories and stories. He has humbled me with some not great ones too, but that's what keeps me moving, keeps me wanting to be great. He has made me a better person. A better friend. And one day, a better husband. I want the chance to show him how great I can be.

The road ahead is long and winding. I look forward to every step of it.

Easter (Love and Be Loved)

He has risen. It's Easter again. Always a glorious holiday celebration. It is now the 22nd that I have been a part of. Pretty cool, pretty, pretty cool.

It is on days like these that I think of all the people I love, all those that I share a deep emotional connection with, and just really thank them. I thank Jesus for making my life possible and worth living. Thank you all!

It is also a day that I think about all the emotional baggage that I carry with me. I'm not a person that holds on to little things that bother me, yet somehow there are a few. Whether it's someone who does something that annoys me to no end, someone that doesn't know it but takes advantage of you, etc. This day really puts things into perspective. We live and we love. No need to fret about the little things in life. Let's just love each other. Live like Christ. Love and be loved.

Moving On

There are certain moments in life that change us. If you really think about it, you can pinpoint a few certain times in your life that really changed you - molded you. If you know me, I think you can guess what a few of those are (for me).

These moments have the power to make you or break you. It is up to us to endure, to carry on. Sometimes, like in my case, you have to change. Sometimes if you don't change your ways, you will slip into darkness, never being able to see the light.

Darkness can always be overcome. You have to take the initiative to do it. No one is going to do it for you. You have to take solace in the fact that nobody is perfect, but we can try to be. We owe it to ourselves, our loved ones, and most importantly to God.

Life is a gift. Sometimes it might not seem like it. Enough bad things happen to sometimes make you shake your head. But ultimately we can see the greatness that this world holds. We all have greatness inside us. If you look inside yourself hard enough, you just might find it. But we must realize we are not perfect. We make mistakes. As long as we learn from them and move on, we will be all right.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

April 5th

Shaky, hurting I want to sleep. My head is pounding, my vision blurry, my hearing gone. What is happening? I close my eyes to be interrupted by the pain. My head screams stop, my mind runs blank. Time stands still.

Writing helps sometimes. It keeps my mind off of the pain - physical, emotional, mental. Not today. I don't know what it is, I just want it to go away.

After this writing, I will say a prayer and hope to sleep. It's been a long day. Hopefully tomorrow will go back to normal.

The Shifting Light

Day fades, darkness falls. Alone. Trapped. Walking through a darkened place with nothing but a compass. Heading North. No it can't be. Can it? I know the way home - I think.

Thoughts roll through my head. What thoughts are these? Whose are they? They are not mine. A passing stranger gives a smile. Points in the direction I am going. It's a trap. I can feel it in the tingle of my spine and bones. Hair raising, eyes shifting, the stranger is swiftly gazing. Looking at my heart he smiles. THUD!

I fall, can't get up. I'm trapped. Knees locked, arms frozen. What is coming next? I hear the sounds of children laughing. Who are they? Where are they? The sound begins to fade - like my life. Will I ever be able to see my children? Will I ever get to have children? Is this it? Is this the end?

Darkness fades, day comes. I'm standing by my window. Tired still and wearied by the dream I had last night. I clutch my hands, pull them to my heart - still beating strong, but pausing slightly. I don't know who it was that I saw - the stranger in the dark. I don't know, but I do not like the feeling that came over me. I know I can't return to where the darkness ate the light.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

A Promise

It's April already - the time sure flies. And as I get older, the days tick off faster and faster still. I don't really feel like I'm getting old though, apart from the headaches. They have an effect that I can't quite shake. But this post isn't about headaches, it's about a promise to myself.

As I get older, more experiences and responsibilities float my way. I find that I don't cringe when something comes to my attention, or there is a new thing that I have to handle. Instead, I accept it as life. There is something very special about life that people don't sometimes realize. You have to dig deep and find what makes life special. It's not the easy things. A lot of what makes life so great are the hard things you have to get through and endure. So many people let the little things bother them and get them down. Some are afraid of the big things. I'm not that way.

I used to let these things bother me, but I snapped out of it and saw life as it's meant to be lived. And I'm grateful for that. Too many people get beaten down by things that are out of their control. Some people are too hard on themselves. Some people can't adapt or endure. I made myself a promise a while ago on a fateful day - don't worry about the little things that don't matter. I don't anymore. I let them go. I've become a much more grounded, responsible and humble person. I have God to thank for that. Through him I learned all these lessons, and through him I have found happiness.

That promise will last until my last breath and beyond.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Who Shaved the Cat (and the Success of The Hunger Games)?

There is enough hair floating around Los Angeles to make one-million toupees. Where does this hair come from? I don't know, and quite frankly, I would be a little concerned with finding out.

 The sun is shining brilliantly, and the weather is just phenomenal. If it wasn't for this weird hair thing, one could say this is the perfect day in the sun. But enough about the hair. Today marked the opening day of The Hunger Games. People have come to the theatres in droves. This Katniss Everdeen girl must be popular. I mean, to be honest, I was most excited to see Woody Harrelson on the big screen.

To my surprise the film was actually quite good. I loved the book and feared that the movie would stray too far from it - color me impressed. Of course there were a lot of admissions (some more heartbreaking than others) but for a movie that's 144 minutes long already, can you really blame them?

Young adults loved the movie. So did I. I saw a few tears among the elderly as well, so it seems that these Games have some longevity to them. Maybe the best part of the movie was the fact that the endless wisps of hair streaming through Los Angeles were nowhere to be found. I was safe for 144 minutes, plus previews. Not to mention the air conditioning. It was hot as Jessica Alba in there.

Ah, the sun calls my name. I'll be back later. Soon... I'll be on my way to MAUI.


Thursday, March 22, 2012

Let's Have Some Fun

There comes a time in your life where you reach a tipping point. A point where things are unfolding and will lead you to what you do for the rest of your life. I have some major projects in the works, and some big decisions in front of me. That is why I want to take on as many fun projects as I can right now, before the bigger picture starts to take up my time.

So I want you guys to come up with ideas for short movies, videos, stories, etc. I want to work on as many projects with as many people as possible. I want to have fun with it, and create fun works that everyone can look at in the future and laugh at and appreciate. So come on guys, give me some of your ideas. Let's have some fun.


Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Importance of Dreams

Dreams. If you dare to be bold enough to reach them, they come to you. All our lives we are told that we can do anything we've ever wanted, but at the same time to not dream too big - in case we fail, we fall.

I've reached an amazing dream. I never gave up on it. No matter the many obstacles in my way. I found a way to make a dream into a reality. Let no one hold you back. Trust in yourself. Trust in God. He created you for a purpose. Live that purpose and you can do anything.

Without dreams, what are we? Dream. Dream big. And never give up.

Me And My Shadow

It's getting late, it's dark
Shut the curtains, get ready to sleep
The blood in my veins is ice cold - stop
Don't let them in, they pretend, don't listen
I miss the days where people could could walk out alone
I miss the calm of the summer rain
When my days are numbered I fear the ending
Leaving behind all those I've come to love
Rain or shine I stare out my window
Forgetting all the troubles I've endured
Life is not a game, it's a song
Beautiful, melodic, my symphony
Never regret the life you've lead or else
You've denied the things you've come to know
Everybody lives the life they've chosen
It's best to not second guess your thoughts
I've grown to wake in the deepest parts of the shadows
Ever since I was a baby boy that could cry
Hold my breath, I'm waiting for forgiveness
In the end I know it's my cross to bear.
So please God don't let me die alone
I don't want to lie here, nor sympathize with the thoughts:
Me and my shadow.


Sunday, March 18, 2012

We Are Who We Are

When you're a child you are filled with hope. Everything in the world is perfect, everything you do is rooted for. The more unique you are, the more people notice. To see a child be creative and unlike his or her peers is a blessing - a gift. You are taught to hold on to it... but not for long.

As you get older, that outlook changes. You are no longer celebrated for being unique, you are looked down on. You are the weird kid. You are the freak. You are the kid that everyone makes fun of. Even the other parents look at you oddly, telling their kids it's okay to no longer be your friend. Is that fair?

So much pressure is put on children from even the youngest of ages. Kids are forced to adapt. Being unique is no longer cool. You need to be cool, popular, one step ahead of the pack. You begin to lose yourself, and soon enough your innocence. What made you you slowly begins to slip away into the shadows.

When you get to grade school this happens. Kids don't want to be your friend unless you are someone they can look up to. Are you good at sports? Are you funny? Do you have money? Can you be main man on the playground? If not, then your life is going to be difficult. You are going to be picked on. Your only friends will be your fellow classmates that are equally looked down on,  your family and your dog. Sad isn't it?

Then comes middle school and finally high school. The stakes are raised. If you are a star athlete, you are set. You can have a few nuts and bolts that are a little loose and no one will notice. You are cool. You are the star QB of the football team, the Point Guard of the basketball team. All the girls want you, everyone wants to be your friend. But is it worth it? Are you happy? Is this really who you are? The boy who used to love playing Power Rangers with his friends is now the guy that is constantly hosting parties when his family is away, trying his hardest to score with the popular girls to pad up his stats. Or you are the head cheerleader that has to go after the most popular guy in school to stay one step ahead of the rest. Is that really who you are?

But let's be fair. There are the kids that stay true to who they are. They stay steadfast in themselves. They know that being unlike everyone else is what is important. Being them is what they were born for. They are special. They will succeed. People can learn from them.

God created us for a purpose. He loves us for who we are, not for what people think we are. He knows us and he loves us. So why is it so important for kids to be cool? Why can't they just be themselves? The world would be a better place, a happier place. A place with much less pain and sorrow. Instead we have people resent their lives - who they really are underneath - all because they feel they aren't good enough. But what they need to realize is that they are perfect in God's eyes. Satan uses our fears against us, and uses his evil on those who surround us. He tries to pin us down with our insecurities. But we can't let him.

The world is filled with greatness. People just don't take the time to realize it. I think it's about time that we start looking at each other as individuals - not a clique, not a label. We are who we are because of God. And in that sense, we are perfect.

Don't be afraid of being who you are. We are who we are for a reason. 

Saturday, March 17, 2012

The Time Is Now

Usually people spend their childhood dreaming about being different things. So many of us would often tell their parents, their teachers, their friends, "I want to be a doctor." "An astronaut." "A policeman. "A pilot." "I'm going to be the next Batman!" When you are little, none of those sound crazy or out of the ordinary. But I wasn't like that. I was the boy who at three or four years old, walked into the living room and saw a movie that changed my life on the screen. That movie was "Jaws." Who would have thought "Jaws" could change a young boys life (other than traumatizing him to never go in the water - which it didn't)?

Well it did. From that day on (which happens to be my first memory), I knew I wanted to be in the movies. I would watch them constantly as a young boy, collect them with my allowance money, and I'd watch them and create a world of my own. Movies fueled my imagination and reading gave me even more and more ideas.

Flash forward 18 or 19 years later, and I'm still the little boy, with the big dreams. And finally I have something that might bring me some credibility in the industry. Something that I can actually tangibly see on the big screen and feel a sense of pride. And don't get me wrong, I am very excited about it, but at the same time, that love that I had for movies for so many years, now, takes a back seat to something else.

In the past few years I have had an interesting life path. Many things have happened to me, some great, some bad. But there is one constant thing that helped me in all the times I needed it - God. He has been a constant in my life, and he brings me up to a level that I didn't even think possible. "I'm doing the right thing." I'm not sure what it means, but I am fueled by those words everyday.

I know that filmmaking is a passion, one that I feel destined to do. But at the same time, what really matters is that I keep my faith and love in God, and I don't have to worry about anything else. He knows what's best for me, and he will provide me with hope, contentment and grace. And who could ask for anything more than that?

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that the time is now - it's not in the past, it's in the present. Make the most out of every second and everyday. Live for now.

The Unknown

Life. What a beautiful thing. Fully of endless beauty, enchantment, and sometimes - it feels like - even magic. Part of life's appeal is the unknown. Some people fear the unknown - they can't stand it. Some can only find comfort in what they can see, what they can hear, what they can touch. Yet, sometimes, the most amazing things happen without any warning at all. They creep up on you completely unaware, and they change your life.

I have had many instances of this. Life can move in so many directions, and shift without even the slightest warning. You don't know how you got from one point to the next. Sometimes it's scary, sometimes it's heartbreaking, but other times it is one of the best things that could ever happen to you.

When I wake up I don't fear the unknown, I relish it. Mostly because I know that I will be okay and I have God to thank for that. I put all my faith in Him, and even though I don't know what will come my way, I can feel him. And He has never steered me wrong. He has always been the light in the darkness - the greatest guide I could ever ask for.

So don't be afraid. Embrace life. Live it. You only get one, so you might as well do the most with it. There are lots of things that people fear, but not many of those fears are actually worth being afraid of. So take a step, take a breath, take a chance. The unknown might just be the best thing that will ever come your way.


Wednesday, March 14, 2012

"We"

People focus too much on themselves. We always think in terms of "I." When we should be thinking in terms of "We." God didn’t put us on this earth to sit back and think about what’s best for ourselves. He put us here to come together. To make the world the best place that it can be. I don’t care who you are, or where you are from. It doesn’t take a reward to help someone. It takes love. It takes kindness. It takes compassion. People shouldn't help people because they feel they have to, they should help because they want to. Because God made us love, respect, and care for each other.

And a world without "We" is a world that "I" don't want to live in.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Great Depression Glasses 3

Hello everybody (or more accurately myself, because I don't think anyone else actually looks at this blog),

I wrapped up filming for the third and final installment in the Great Depression Glasses trilogy on January 6, 2012. Editing was finished on the 7th, and it was released that day. Now, I have heard from many people that they liked it.

**EDIT** I was contemplating redoing the whole video, but the more I tinker with it, the more that I see that the original cut was the best version possible. It really shows the character of the series, and the ramblings enhance Dr. Kermit Simmons and his true genius.***

On another note. I am somewhat sad to see Dr. Kermit Simmons and his Great Depression Glasses go, but at the same time, it is time to move on. And time to come up with some different characters and different ideas. One such idea, that I hope to film soon is my take on Sherlock Holmes. It isn't Sherlock Holmes, but instead a parody. And oh my... what a parody it is.

I have been enjoying collaborating on these films very much, and I hope to get a large group together and make an epic short film... I have a few ideas, and I think they are quite good... TIME TO BEGIN.

School is about to begin, but I find that it shouldn't slow me down. In fact, I spend most of my class time daydreaming about ideas and writing them down. School is my muse, or should I say, sitting in a classroom is my muse. I don't soak up any knowledge, I just create it!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Year 2012, GDP 3 and Beyond

The New Year has begun. It is already 2012 and I feel no different. But, it is important to note that life is what you make of it, so this year will be different. A lot different.

January 4, 2012 will be a grand day. Shooting for Great Depression Glasses 3 will begin, and hopefully I will have it all edited and released on the 5th or the 6th. This one, I have a strong feeling, will be the best by far. I am very excited. And not to spoil anything, a certain green character will make an appearance.

After GDP 3, I think the series will be taking a break for at least, a little while.  I think it will be time to tackle some other territory. Some relatively more serious, and challenging waters.

I hope to make a short feature film pretty early on in the year and submit it to some film festivals around Oregon, Washington, California and New York. Those are the plans at the moment.

2012 looks to be a promising year and I hope to make the best of it. If you believe, you can achieve.